Adelphikos Devolution for 2002
"Devos"
The Holy Hand Grenade
Galahad:
(brightly) We *have* the Holy Hand Grenade, Sir!
Arthur:
Of course! 'Tis one of the sacred relics that Brother Maynard carries with
him! Brother Maynard! Bring out the Holy Hand Grenade!
Monks:
(chant)
Die Jesu domine,
Dona eis requiem.
Die Jesu domine,
Dona eis requiem.
(Pause. Arthur examines the hand grenade, turning it over in his hands.)
- Arthur:
- How does it...How does it work?
- High Priest:
- I know not, my leige.
- Arthur:
- Consult the book of Armaments!
- High Priest:
- Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
- Bro. Maynard:
- And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high saying, "Oh
Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it smash our enemies to tiny
bits." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs,
and stoats, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
- High Priest:
- Skip a bit, brother.
- Bro. Maynard:
- And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take out the holy
pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. "Three"
shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the counting shall be
three. "Four" shalt thou not count, and neither count thou two,
execpting that thou then goest on to three. Five is RIGHT OUT. Once the
number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy
Hand Grenade to-wards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuffit.
Amen.
- All:
- Amen.